The completion

i ended the program with bikram 29/31 days.  part of me is focused on that one day i did not do, but another part recognizes i should be proud of my journey.  i did not lose any weight or have any life changing experiences.  but it was another goal i set for myself and achieved physically.  knowing the disdain i felt everyday, which sometimes was just mild disdain at it's best, counting down those 90 minutes.  what i did feel there was a sense of community.  the receptionists seemed to recognize me, i recognized familiar faces. we were all in that same place, same room, for that allotted time.  it was hard for me to free my mind completely in that class.  i  thought of not to do stuff as much as things that highly irritated me: my old boss, my decision to move to hawaii, financial worries.  it didn't make sense, as i stretched i thought of pain. but instead of freeing my mind, i realized maybe i really should look at these issues and see what pattern exists.  my job now everyone is leaving, my last job everyone left or had the urge to.  i am the one who is used to leaving, and somewhat have the urge to leave too.  but maybe god is giving me this opportunity to stick it out despite the drama, pain, wait for the wave to pass. then make a move. i heard negative things about bikram that it wasn't true yoga, true one-ness with god. but it's all perception. if all is god, so is this.  this pain, negativity, commitment is god.  it is what you make of it.  spirituality can be found anywhere, even in a sweaty room, filled with dozens of people, standing on one leg, simply trying not to fall.