Forward Lunge

Day 3 Forward Lunge

Today I went back to a beginner’s class, which was a nice ease from yesterday’s exhaustive moves.  This studio encourages the use of straps, blocks, and blankets.  In many yoga studios, you only use a block if it is necessary.  Oddly here as soon as you drop you roll your matt on the floor, you automatically grab all the necessary yoga accessories.  Hence you are more apt to use these devices.  I can only speak for myself, but generally in classes, I do not want to look like a beginner so I avoid any assistance and only modify if highly necessary, for moves like chautaranga. 

Today we seemed to use blocks for half of the poses.  And they felt different, slightly easier with assistance.  We moved our way into forward lunge, encouraged to keep our backs straight.  The teacher said something that stuck with me.  “I don’t care how far you reach, what I care about is to create more room within.”   It stayed with me after class, in the aspirations we grasp for in our lives.  Is it to prove to others that we have made it or we are worthy?  Are our aspirations true to ourselves or did others create them for us? This phrase and doing this simple pose in this manner reminded methis pose is only for me, not anyone else.  And my goal should be just to  be the most authentic me I can today. 

This is a familiar pose for many, as it is not essentially solely yoga, but also a stretching pose for runners or gym rats.  One foot is bent and stretched forward, as the other is lined in the back straight off the ground, both hands generally to the floor.

The instructor smiled throughout the class, and I thought she truly enjoys what she does, and those who take her class appreciate it.   Her words were slow, the poses gentle, as she must have been cognizant of the lazy Sundays people yearn for.  She talked with ease, sounded centered, and brought a bell at the end of class to bring us back from savasana.  I couldn’t help but reflect on my career path and current job.  I truly do not like who I’ve become in this job, or the past several jobs I’ve had.  Part of it is the sense of entitlement and lack of appreciation I sense  from those I work for.    But this job isn’t me.  Currently I’m simply answering emails, this is what my 40 hour a week job consists of.  A doctorate to reply to emails.  Last year, I worked with active duty soldiers, burned out with the trauma they faced.  The past two years I’ve lost the urge to help those I’m working with, but I realize deep down I still have that urge of wanting to help bring a sense of peace to others, just in a different capacity. 

And so I try to remind myself, it’s not how far I am stretching, but am I making space in my life to bring out this authentic me?   Can I utilize some type of assistance so I can free up space and correct my metaphorical posture in order to be me? 

I realize the importance of being in a profession that aligns with your authentic self.  Not only are you happier, and will remain doing this type of work.  But those you serve will sense this and express a sense of gratitude for all you do