i hate bikram!

as i slightly pass the halfway mark, i thought i would see major dramatic changes in my life.  possibly lose weight, not yet one pound.  my flexibility varies by day.  i can't say i see a dramatic change.  i still despise bikram, don't love it anymore. in fact i think people who love bikram are masochists.  why do you endure this and teach this? the only thing i can see is that i have made this far reaching goal and sticking to it.  if i can stick to this i can stick to meditation at least 5 days a week.  i heard that bikram heals old wounds.  possibly true.  during class at times while going to awkward pose my ankle hurts, is that bringing up an old broken bone i hurt when i was 15 jumping on a trampoline?  also my eyes have been really sore, rehealing my lasik surgery.  an abnormal pap smear reoccurred, biopsy tomorrow. is that resurging b/c of bikram? and i have much more irritable, depressed, guilty, and angry.  linked to residual depression or is it simply holiday woes? i am used to workouts making you feel good, but i feel like shit. proud i accomplished a day of class. but like shit.