Day 24

Day 24, Seek and Implement Advice

Tuesday March 22 2011

As a therapist, it is hard to admit there are times we need help.  It is just like my grandmother who is a psychiatrist but hates going to the doctor.  She knows what she needs, but in reality we all need help sometimes.  Sometimes it’s most difficult seeking consultation for something you feel is your specialty. 

I have returned to therapy, and yesterday had my third session.  What is interesting is much of what we have been focusing on there is self care and mindfulness techniques.  I carry much work related stress home with me and feel it in my body.  My shoulders have been in pain for years, and heightens with difficult angry clients who harbor rage in the office.   I described myself as being a container for their anger.  If I had to visualize what this pain in my shoulders looked like, it would be a gray cement block, stiff, immobile trapped in my shoulders, unable to be broken.  As I said this, my therapist shook her head, “think of how much weight you are holding in there.”   She suggested viewing instead of my shoulders being a container, viewing it as a pouch or something external from me.  Possibly a kangaroo pouch or an apron.  It is still there and present but outside of me.  Therefore it will be easier to release.   Personally I am strongly into metaphors and this seems very fitting to me.  As we talked, we practiced and discussed breathwork and visualization.  How could I transform this cement block into something changed?  Today as I reflected on it, on my drive to work.  I realized this changed form should be more of something malleable and opposing color.  What I thought of was pink chewing bubble gum.  As I breath in I imagine the cinder block, as I breath out I imagine the transformation into chewy sticky moldable gum. 

In the session I also discussed this phrase that sticks with me as I fill each day, “If you are not growing you are dying.”  In that, I feel I tend to overwhelm and burn myself out because I need to stay active and moving, never offering rest.  She questioned, “That certainly can’t be the case.  We can be growing but not so extremely, sometimes we need a break.”  I understood this, but couldn’t take it in.  She utilized the metaphor of a flower, will it grow if you do not offer water to it? This stuck with me.  I know I need to continue to remind myself to set boundaries, take care of myself.  Needing is different than doing.  Today, I am reflecting back on what was discussed yesterday and am exploring how this can be part of my life every day.  A small form of daily self-care.  Today, I engaged in the breathwork, visualization, my commitment to writing.  I am planning to set up some massage appointments.  Hearing it from someone outside prescribing self care, reminds me of the importance of placing it a priority in my life.

It’s interesting because as a therapist, I am aware of this and offer suggestions or homework to my clients along similar domains, but sometimes we are not the experts.  We need to ask for help and guidance.  Our minds may be solely focused on one thing and forget to take an external perspective from someone who has been there.

As a tourist, it is always vitally important to seek advice from those who have previously visited or locals.   They know best and can guide you.  Are you taking on too much in your itinerary?  Is there something you are missing that contains the essence of the city?  Do not disvalue their suggestions.  Take it in as a possibility.  Maybe even follow through with something they offered.  There’s no harm in asking for guidance and help when needed.  It is your choice to follow through.